Do Only Men Can Make the First Move?
To the chagrin of many guys (and even some girls, too), it actually appears to be widely spread and accepted that it is totally men’s job to go for the first step in a romantic relationship. From everything starting with approaching a woman at the bar counter in a club to producing date ideas, it might seem like everybody overwhelmingly expect a man to do all the leg work in this particular area.
So why should the guy make the first move? We live in the 21st century, and all these old-fashioned gender norms are still operational in plenty of spheres, especially when speaking of dating, so does modern society really have to stick to those outmoded cultural scripts in the world of romantic relations? Why do most women keep avoiding asking guys out today? Well, the answer is that ladies don’t really have to do that plus it is quite hard to overstate the grip that traditions have on most of us, especially in the dating sphere.
The point is, it might not always be the traditions only that is holding our wonderful ladies back from making the first move, though. There is a wide variety of reasons females are pretty reluctant to approach guys – from concerns about possible rejection to trivial market-based conceptions of supply and demand.
With all that in mind, we have prepared this article containing the reasons why men are supposed to make the first move as well as several suggestions why it can be awesome for a girl to initiate the first step.
Why do guys have to make the first move?
All women with no exception love it when guys make the first move. Giving that reality, a man is usually handed the entire responsibilities of arranging dates and sexual encounters. But are we truly ready to move past those stereotypical roles? So, dudes are usually the ones to be initiating dates and generating numerous ideas on how to keep their girlfriends entertained, while gals are usually “burdened” with the social role of simply appearing attractive and available enough to convince a guy to step up and say something. So, for male-female interaction, it may appear that males do the greater part of the initiating duties and it is definitely a certain type of initiating – most likely saying “hi” first or asking a girl out on a date.
In other words, a woman often works hard to “transmit” approachable signals first, but it is always a man who is expected to be expressing overt interest. We tend to think it’d be much better when people learn to step away from their gender responsibilities —such as when a woman does not just settle ground for the nonverbal initiation, but walks up to a guy and asks him out, which may be very appropriate when things often get tricky in many cases.
Partially, such a common men’s question “should I make the first move?” may be caused by the fact that straightforward girls are often seen as “sluts.” In this instance, we are not really surprised that women evade making the first move. They have literally a lot to lose. Only getting a judgment from their female friends’ “God, that is so sluttish of her to be hitting on that boy!” In addition, a girl also risks certain portion of judgment from the guy she tries to approach: “She approached me, so she is definitely a slut looking for a one-night stand.” This actually forms the contrast to what males experience as initiators.
Some guys, feeling greatly frustrated with their unsuccessful girl-approaching experience, tend to claim they would love it pretty much if women could do all the initiating! But still some of those men will oftentimes act as described above – labeling a girl who shows the initiative as a slut or, in best case scenario, simply not knowing how to react to a woman making the first move.
Men also affirm that they have absolutely no problem with aggressive women, until they actually get to meet one – and find themselves completely confused. Many of them claim it is quite burdensome to be risking rejection by taking the initiative, at the same time many tend to say they feel equally burdened by giving up that familiar role of dominant partners.
So, you’ve probably encountered many articles and guides on how to make the first move as a guy, but what are the main benefits of women making the first step in the dating process?
Should women make the first move?
Can a girl make the first move? Why not! She asks for the phone number first, goes for the kiss first and is actually adorably shocked by the look on her boy’s face as she does all that. Of course, there might be some obvious reasons why many males usually feel pretty uncomfortable when a woman acts straightforwardly with whatever she wants.
Next question: do guys like it when girls make the first move? You’ll be astonished, but yes, they love it! The point is, men might need to take at least some of the pressure off for once, not worrying about making the first step, call, message, or date arrangement. All in all, if you are a woman and you’re reading this now, here are some of the top reasons for initiating the first move and earning some “points.”
- Low pressure chick
Perhaps one of the major reasons why males like it can be explained by that it can take much of the pressure off. We say anyone who has ever had a crush can relate to all the painstaking effort it usually takes to reveal your true feelings when you’ve got no idea if they will be reciprocated. That is exactly why most men prefer not to worry about the responsibility of initiating the first move, adding to that awkwardness that comes along. So if you’ve decided to make the first step, why not just go right for it?
- Shy boys choose bold girls
Some men appear to be just downright timid and even the thought of a woman making the needed move can be exactly what the doctor ordered. These men will feel at great ease with a take-charge female and will be really happy to watch her making the first step.
- Confidence is so sexy
Your willingness to take charge with your first move will literally tantalize him, leaving the guy wondering what your sex moves will be like. Males love confidence in ladies. To them, there is nothing sexier than a chick who knows what exactly she wants and is never afraid to go and get it. To all the guys, a self-confident girlfriend can be an ultimate decision maker. She is always courageous and fabulous.
- Dudes need a break
We sort of feel pretty bad about the fact that a lot of modern men experience a ton of pressure when asking attractive women out. That can surely get on their nerves. The truth be told, it can probably be a lot harder for an average guy to approach a girl than it is for an average girl to step up to a dude, because, let’s admit it, girls are pretty picky. With that said, females can easily make the first move as men might just need a little break sometimes! So do not hesitate to make the first step yourself. A guy will be sure to thank you for that!
- You have better chances to get a “yes”
All right, we will say it with a good deal of caution as you can never be 100% sure. Chances are, you can get rejected. Still, we can confidently say that in most of the cases, a guy will honestly and truly give a positive answer when you ask him out. Simply because it is super hot when she makes the first step. He will not only be pretty much surprised, but he’ll be wishing to learn more about you. Out of the curiosity alone, the dude will almost always say “yes.” Just bear in mind that some men might already have girlfriends.
- You are equal
Since going for the first move is traditionally considered what males usually do, that is the reason alone for you, our beautiful women, to start acting. For real. It doesn’t mean you will be the one who initiates all the time. It is more likely you must become more comfortable with doing so more often…you know, just like a guy would. This will not only help you build your dating life. Equality can change your whole life. Sounds pretty appealing, huh? Indeed. So that is precisely why we are convinced that women should start making the first step in a relationship these days.
- You won’t feel anxious
You say “yes” to a guy, reward him with your number and wait long hours and sometimes even days to get that call or text message simply because you just don’t appreciate the perspective to call or text him yourself? Naturally, you know that anxiety can hardly be good for you, so here you’ve got a short list: it can make you irritable, highly nervous and you will definitely be questioning your self-worth again and again.
We’ve come up with a solution for you, ladies. Just approach a man and start a conversation. By learning how to make the first move as a girl, you can finally get rid of that thing constantly keeping you on the edge. Once you have taken hold of the situation, your anxiety will just fume away and you will actually feel proud of yourself. Chances are, he is waiting out there for you to step up and start a conversation. And thus, he will be so happy when you ask him out yourself.
- Simply because you can
Do we need to say more? Ladies, the most important reason why you should make the first move is pretty much because you simply can do it! You have every right to walk up to a dude you find handsome and ask for his phone number or invite him on a date. Frankly, we are not really sure why most women just refuse taking advantage of the situation. You certainly have the needed power, confidence and finally, the ability to walk up to a guy and say you are totally into him. So why are you still backing up? Women have to make the first approach simply because they can. You don’t really need any additional reasons for that. This is the most essential thing to keep in mind if you feel wary about going for the first move.
All Things Considered
To all the ladies out there: your time has finally arrived. Luckily, though, the world has changed and now it is a perfect time for you to step up and start taking charge of your own lives. How does a girl make the first move? She takes the responsibility, heads straight to a lonely standing boy and begins the conversation. You no longer have to sit around for years waiting and hoping that someday a nice guy will pick up a hint and ask you out. In particular cases, you have even let perfectly ideal guys pass you by simply because you haven’t had the guts to ask them out. Well our pretty girls, no more. How do you think your entire life could change once you have taken the reigns once and for all and started acting? One day you will be glad you’ve learned to make the first move.